Living With Grief: Honoring Daddy

Posted: February 2, 2016 in Uncategorized

When Daddy died fifteen months ago it caused a shift in our family, and it awakened something inside me that wanted to honor the way I saw Daddy live. I made a promise to myself that I would not live life half-way. Having a new direction helped me take the energy and pain behind my grief and put it toward something good that I could see taking shape. I did an inventory of everything in my life that I thought was a gift, skill, or passion, and I began to “practice” and believe they were “in me” for a reason. Thanks to a community of coaches, I was able to see things that I had determined were “weird” and discovered they were good gifts from God. I think Daddy would be pleased and that makes life without him a little more bearable. It hasn’t taken away the vice around my heart but maybe it doesn’t squeeze quite as hard.

***

“For in grief nothing “stays put.” One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?

But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?

How often — will it be for always? — how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, “I never realized my loss till this moment”? The same leg is cut off time after time.”
C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

 

 

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